Domestic Violence is Not Just Physical
One of the most common phrases we hear from our clients who have endured domestic violence is, “I wish I knew this before.” Many people are surprised to find out that domestic violence is not limited to physical abuse, but is also found in verbal, emotional, financial, and psychological abuse as well. If there is physical abuse in a domestic relationship, one remedy available is an order of protection. However, someone is able to pursue an order of protection even when there is no actual physical abuse, but when there is one of the other forms of abuse
Verbal Abuse
Some examples of common verbal abuse behaviors include:
- Accusations of cheating
- Threats to harm or kill
- Threats to take children in common away from the other parent
- Coercion
- Frequent name calling
What separates a behavior from verbal attack to verbal abuse is the frequency and pattern of the abuse. If someone calls someone else a name once, that is not necessarily considered verbal abuse according to the Illinois Domestic Violence Act. However, if someone calls someone the same series of names repeatedly, in a way to degrade them and make them feel bad about themselves, that is more likely to be considered abuse.
Psychological, Emotional, and Financial Abuse
Some examples of common psychological, emotional, and financial abuse behaviors include:
- Gaslighting
- Repeatedly putting someone down
- Intimidating someone, for example, getting close to someone as if you will hurt them, even if you don’t physically harm them
- Intimidating someone by throwing household objects, slamming doors, or raising your voice
- Financial Abuse: withholding money from the victim, controlling their money, or preventing them from earning money.
- Damage to property, including to vehicles or personal belongings
- Calling someone repeatedly on the phone or sending text messages repeatedly
Certain behaviors from this list, including damage to property and repeated calls or text messages, can be sufficient for criminal charges. Many of these behaviors, in aggregation, can be sufficient to constitute domestic violence for the purposes of an order of protection.
A Police Report is Not Required!
“Do I need a police report?” The answer to this common question is, “No, not necessarily.” There are lots of reasons why someone would not make a police report after an incident of abuse, and it is important to know that a police report is not necessary in order to allege domestic violence in court. Just because you did not file a report, does not mean that the abuse did not happen. This is often something that abusers use against the victim, but it is important to know should a person want to file an order of protection.
If you do have a police report, then it could be helpful in some instances. When you make a report, the reporting police officer usually provides the incident report number at the time of making the report. However, we recommend that you obtain the actual police report itself as well, by asking the police department for it after the report is made. Some departments have a “FOIA Request” system that allows constituents to request it for free online, and they send it to you usually within 7 business days. If you have a lawyer, send the police report to them too. It can help in custody proceedings, trial preparation, and other cases related to domestic violence, but again, a police report is not necessary in order to prove that there was domestic violence.
The Cycle of Abuse
Abusive behavior is a behavior that is repeated frequently and there is some sort of pattern to it. It is common for an abuser to reconcile or even demonstrate guilt and remorse after an incident of abuse, but then repeat the behavior again a week or a month later. This is why it is called “the cycle of abuse.” A common misconception is that these behaviors constitute domestic violence only if they always occur, but in reality, the cycle of abuse is more common and still constitutes an abusive relationship.
In conclusion, not all abuse is physical, and other types of abuse are more common and often more challenging to identify. The Illinois Domestic Violence Act requires that there is a pattern of abuse to be able to obtain an order of protection. Finally, while a police report is not necessary, it can be useful to have.
Atty. Kinza Khan handles domestic violence, immigration, and civil rights matters at Amal Law Group. Click here to learn more about Atty. Kinza Khan. You can contact Atty. Khan directly at 773-413-9592.
Disclaimer: The above is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as legal advice. Seek legal advice only from a licensed attorney. For any legal questions, click here to contact us.
